Original Message from the Lord on Sep 3rd 2017
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Original Lord’s message is on Sep 3rd 2017May the wisdom of the Lord move our hearts to follow His counsels in all things. AmenThe Lord has brought home to me the absolute necessity of knowing myself. There are many broken and lost souls in this world who have not been able to come to terms with themselves in this life. They don't know who they are, what they've been sent here to do. Or why things keep failing on them. And if we can go through the Lord’s formation of our lives, we will be able to help others. So, tonight He gave me some new insights into what we are facing when we decide to know ourselves—truly, as He knows us.Jesus began, "My people, there is no greater work than coming to know yourself. Aside from coming to know Me. From birth onward, you are conditioned by the words of those who care—or care not—for you. Parents are feeding their children much of their own viewpoint of the world. They project upon their children the very things they hoped and dreamt they could be; or their negative, failure-influenced view of the world and of you."To Me, you are the most beautiful of My creation, perfect in all respects—until you are twisted by those who do not know Me or themselves. They set the direction for your lives by their fears, expectations, their experiences, their failures and successes. So, there is a natural bias in any family that is projected on to you from childhood and even birth. "Then you step out into the world from under the shelter of your family life, and the world slaps you down. People disappoint, deceive, steal and lie and if you haven’t experienced that in your family, it is quite a shock. Then there are others, few and far between, who are kind and always have good things to say to build you up."So, please take all this into consideration. YOU ARE NOT ANYTHING ANYONE HAS TOLD YOU, YOU ARE. Your task is to uncover the real you, and I promise you—you cannot do it without Me. I will show you the Love and the gentle correction and truth that you need to embrace and blossom into who I created you to be. "You will discover these things with Me in your quiet times, and even in your day-to-day life, if you are looking and listening for Me in every event. Not one thing passes in your lives without My presence and My permission. Everything is ordained to be a lesson—but to perceive it, you must listen very carefully."For some, I will send a soul I, Myself, have formed, who will also be of help to you in discovering yourself. They will be loving and willing to take the time to help you find your way. These, however, are rare opportunities that very few ever get. When you encounter one of these, you will have one of two reactions: loving acceptance and a teachable spirit. Or resentment and a built-in resistance to everything they tell you. "The second reaction is the old sin nature that comes with a soul when they are born. It is the self-preservation instinct—whether it be a need to have more money, more food, more friends; more, more, more. More control. More power over others in situations. Or the need to feel important and protect the weaknesses inside of you that you’ve been running from for years."For those in this state, it will be extremely painful to be in the presence of a guiding soul. You will feel threatened at the level of your whole being. Your foundations laid to survive the world will be cracked and falling apart; the sense of vulnerability and fear of losing the image you have been holding on to in order to survive in the world...crumble. Your very existence will be threatened. "Some of you already know this has to happen, because your life has not blossomed; something is very wrong; because nothing has developed into anything solid. Rather, you have gone from disappointment to disappointment, rejection and failure."These failures will reinforce your need to close off to people and protect yourself. And one of the arguments the enemy will use is, 'They don’t understand you. You are special, you're different, deeper than they are.' Let Me caution you here, children—this is the lie from Satan to continue to cut off all the roads to your happiness and success in life. Situations go sour because no one understands you... or so you are told. This causes you to insulate yourself even more with layers of lies about how different, how special you are and that the world is not good enough for you."Satan plays on your vanity and insecurity. He builds blind spots into your personality, so you cannot see what YOU are responsible for, in situations that fail. This is done to further isolate you from the truth about yourself and make you more defensive and judgmental of others."He's trying to cut us off at that point, guys. He's trying to isolate us, because it's so much easier to bring an isolated soul down than it is that runs in the protective corral with the other sheep.Jesus went on, "Let Me assure you, you are fearfully and wonderfully made; full of gifts and abilities I put there to cause you to blossom into the abundant life I ordained for you from the foundation of the world. But those around you are also fearfully and wonderfully made, as well. They have suffered life’s bruises and bumps as you have. Some have opted for the lie that they were too special for the world... and misunderstood. "Yes, that is in part true, because you were made for Me and for Heaven and this world can be a terrible place. But as long as you are living your father’s or mother’s vision of who you are, you will not know yourself. You discover yourself through Me, spending time with Me. Reading and understanding the Scriptures, seeing how I dealt with people in the past, seeing what true virtue and true wickedness are. And in the process of doing that, being profoundly honest with yourself, asking important questions, 'Lord, am I like that? Lord, do I do that?' "I promise that when you ask in that way, the answer will not be long in coming. I am eager to love you and to educate you about who I am, who you are—and who you are not. Part of My eagerness is to prepare you to face the deadly traps set for you every day by the enemy. If you know who you are, and what your weaknesses are, how you are likely to get caught in a trap... In short, if you know yourself as well as the demons know you, you have a fighting chance—as long as you cleave to Me with all your heart, strength and understanding. "But if you think you can do it all on your own? You will live a life of disappointment and failure, questioning why things are so difficult and falling apart. It is because you do not know yourself—and Satan does. You do not have the life skills to out-smart him. But I do. And until you make up your mind to give Me total control of your life and put yourself under My instruction, seeking to discover the good, the bad and the ugly about yourself, you will wander in circles wondering what you were supposed to do with your life. And much of the potential and talent that lies within you, untapped, will wither and grow old as you go from one struggle to the next just to make ends meet and stay alive."I am offering you a better way. A way that will lead to success and fulfillment. A way that will lead to joy and meaning in your life and to those around you. Because you will continue to blossom, put forth sweet fruit and enrich your world."By the way, guys, here He's not talking about the prosperity gospel. He's talking about the fullness of life.Jesus continued, "For this to happen, you must be brave and challenge the premises your life has been built on. You must be able to see what worked in your life and what didn’t work. You must be ready and willing to change those things that didn’t work, repent and confess the wrongs you did to yourself and others. You must be willing to be taken apart, bit by bit, and put back together again by My loving and merciful hands."I will do away with the old, the hurtful, the failed ways of the past. I will heal and rebuild you into the glorious creature I intended you to be. Glorious, not as the world perceives it, but as I perceive it. Your greatest feelings will be profound peace and confidence that God is in control and you have nothing to fear, because He turns all things to good. And if you are fortunate enough to be given access to one who has already made that journey, happy you will be if you follow their counsel."Many people have not heard my life story yet, I wrote in Chinese before, but never in English. So I will tell you about my life here, my family education when I was in China. In other people’s eye, my parents are very good, well educated people, they love me so much. Many will adore me born in such a family. However, they can only see the outside cover, but never inside which is far from love with so many pains. Even my relatives never know my young age life. Both my parents disliked me since I just had a memory about 2-3 years old. Most of time, I remembered anger, shouts, cold, laugh onto myself. So, I always have concerns why they do not understand me? Why my parents laugh at me? Why they just did not tell me what should I do, where I did wrong? Why they so strange, so far from me? I had very little love from my parents, because they were very busy in works, as well they did not like kids.My father had very bad temper in his whole life. When I was young, I feared him a lot, because he always yelled to me. Many times, he lashed me by a rod or a waist belt, while shout to me ‘have you know you are wrong?’ I always say ‘yes, I know’. But, I lied by saying so, because I never know what I did wrong, and he never tell me why he beat me. So, I was very angry in heart years after years, but never had a braveness to ask my father. This kind of things happened a lot before 6 years old. At the beginning, I forgave my parents, but when I grew bigger, I had a rejection feeling more and more common and strong. I really disliked my parents, and felt far far away from them in heart. My father always planned my life for me, but never ask my own wish. Most of time, his acts were all wrong, but I did not know how to correct him and can not reject him. For example, when I was 6, in grade 1, at the beginning of the 2nd half semester, one day my father was very happy to ask my give a free gift to my teacher, that was a calendar. Even though I disliked this kind of behavior in heart, I still can not reject my father, because I did not know how to say it, and I always feared to reject his order. Then, I did it as father’s order. This is called bribe, I know it now. It will cause sins by breaking the virtue standard.The biggest sin I made which caused me being deceived by Adam happened in year 2000, when I rose up to high school. I used to be an athlete for 3 years in middle school, not professional, but just received training from a professional coach. On the 3rd year of middle school, I was very sad, in deep depression feelings. I did not know what really happened on me. My father saw me, he never asked me, then made decision himself. He thought I was in depression on finding a good high school. So he found a professional athlete to participate in city sport competition in my name. Then, I had a good fake record in my own name to apply a good high school. He spent all his hard works on cheating and stealing from other’s benefit by the reason of ‘loving me’. He never feel sorry on his Satanism behavior until now. Unfortunately, I accepted this false record and high school even though I knew he did wrong. Because I was fear to reject my father, in order to avoid he beating me. I always tell myself, I did not mean it, it was not my reason to cheat, I just be piety to follow my father’s will……….. However, my self-righteousness can never let me escape from great sins, karma, guilty from participating of criminalism …….. This is how satan set trap for me, let me make sins without my control, then used my sins to let me make more and more sins that I can never escape from Hell. This is why I choose wrong road after I come to Canada. Because I caused other person can not go to a desired high school, then my sins made myself to pay for it. When I applied university in Mississauge high school in 2004, I only received 2 offers in my life. One is in U of Toronto St George campus in downtown Toronto, the other one is in Mississauga campus at far west of the city. Then I must choose 1 out of 2. The correct one is Mississauga campus, study commerce program, which is God chose for me. However, I decided to go to Toronto campus, where I met Adam in spring 2005. Adam deceived me by stealing my first love out of God, and cheated me to pay my life onto himself. I was deceived with full trust on him with all my heart. Even after many years, I still can not believe he cheated me, I still believe one day he will come back to me. I still wait for his answer years after years, since he left suddenly without a reason to me. For how many times in my life, I tell myself if he can confess he was wrong, then I will forgive him. However, he never think he did wrong, neither USA Falun Dafa practitioners. Instead, what I only received is blaming and laughing from same people as me called Falun Dafa practitioners. This is a major reason why I choose not to go to USA in my rest of life. This is why the salvation of meeting Messiah should start from 2012, but all nations did not meet this day after years and years of waiting. Now, time has been past, chances has been wasted. There is no time left. War and death becomes the only way to wake up all 7 billion people. This is the process. The root of sins is still on myself, because of my deceiving on others, caused the same punishment back to myself. This great sin leads me walk on one error after another error, repeated again and again. Yes, I am a sinful woman. I confess I am the representative of evilness. I deserve no mercy. My sin caused the happening of 911, this is how the kingdom of darkness uses me as their reasons for their wishes. It is not me caused USA sinned greatly, but it is definitely my reason caused USA lost its chance to be saved on time. The even greater sin I made was after I met Adam. I wanted to help Adam to promote thing I wanted to do in Toronto group, but got rejection within Toronto Dafa practitioners. Those leaders blamed me hardly which I can not accept their reason. Also, Adam told me bad words on these leaders. Then, I deceived the whole group that those leaders were people from the kingdom of darkness. After my hard work pressing, the Toronto flock had been divided into pieces. This is the major reason caused the power of salvation can not reach its goal any more after 2005. This is why so many nations can not be saved till now. It is the reason of me. Now you all know the reason.我在很小的时候，就有一种想法，虽然我不知道我自己是谁，但是我很肯定我是一个很重要的人。 所以，我是一个很小心谨慎的人，我也发现我的内心很脆弱，很敏感，很细腻，但是在别人都知道的方面我却很大条。 我的人生有很多很多的遗憾，因为很多地方我都在做坏事。 我和我爸在生活中根本不交流，但是每格一段时间，我爸就会‘突然’来‘关心’我， 让我做这做那，都是很坏的事情，我心里很不情愿，但是又不敢拒绝。 我以为这是孝顺的表现，其实这是先天性错误理解。 纵容父母做坏事是犯罪行为，不是孝顺的表现。 这就是人生最大的无奈，从很小就开始被迫跟着父母学坏，但又无法拒绝。 遇到我父母其实是件很倒霉的事情， 我妈根被不喜欢小孩， 而且从小就讨厌我， 很多时候我爸一回家我妈就开始嘀嘀咕咕说我坏话，然后我爸就突然发火开始抽我。 我应该就是从那个时候潜移默化的学会了挑事一样的去评判别人和打击别人的恶习。 我父母其实都是很负面的人，从来只能看到我的缺点，从来看不到优点，反而嘲笑优点。 比如我小时候很有爱心，很善良，我父母看在眼里，不是嘲笑就是利用。 我爸总是说‘我女儿可善良了’， 所以他每次都会肆无忌惮的打骂我，因为他知道我一定会忘掉昨天发生的事情。所以每次我被打完，第二天早上我爸都会特别殷勤的笑呵呵的来讨好我，跟我打招呼，然后开开心心的去上班，就像什么事都没发生一样。 但是他不知道这会让我更恨他，我会认为为什么他这么无赖，做错事从来不道歉，还嬉皮笑脸。 说实话，我从来都不认为打人，打孩子是正确的行为， 我在很小的时候就知道教育子女才是父母应该做的事情，打人根本解决不了问题。 算命先生说我小时候特别的孝顺，是个不会惹是生非的命格。这没错，而且一个人不管多孝顺都有被逼上梁山的那一天，这也没错。 我记得上小学时，有一天我爸在做饭，让我把屋里的刀子拿到厨房，然后我就握着刀子，快跑着奔到我爸面前，我爸反应快一把抓住我手腕，否则刀子就能插到他肚子里。 我爸被吓一跳，没当回事，其实我是故意这么做的， 我就是要让他知道我可以很厉害，让他不要随便欺负我。 这就是我从小到大心里说不出来的恨， 恨不得一刀把我爸捅死。 如果当年我知道今天会沦落到这种程度， 那我真应该把他一刀捅死， 一死两清，避免以后做更大的坏事， 害死更多的人，呵呵。从小我也知道我自己很孝顺，但是我想不到的是孝顺天性恰恰被邪恶利用来害我，孝顺可以变成奴性，变成轻易向邪恶妥协的最大缺点。我就是一个没有胆量的人，不敢指出父母的错误，就算遭遇不公，也不认为是父母的错，虽然我也不认为是自己有错，但是我会很内疚，父母越是打骂，我越是内疚，总觉得欠了别人，对不起别人，总想要做一番事业成就证明自己有价值。总想着让别人认可自己，肯定自己，总想着去讨好别人，以为为别人花钱努力付出就可以得到认可，但是事实证明用钱换朋友是做不到的。 亚当李涛就是这样，我和他在一起时，为他花了很多钱，我以为他会很珍惜我，没想到他认为我是自愿花钱换威德，我自会得到，不用他为我付出什么回报。所以每次都大大方方的接受我的付出从来不拒绝，他结婚后带着老婆一起来享受我的付出，完全心安理得，因为他认为他接受我的付出是我的福气，其实他真心把自己当皇帝看待，自认为高人一等。 人与人之间的认知，价值观其实差别非常大，这个世上真的有人不把良心当良心。 2005年8月，李涛离开多伦多前把我贬低的一文不值，说我这个缺点，那个缺点，我心里很难受，难道我真的是这样的吗？ ? 之后2006年1月，他带着老婆来多伦多前，打电话给我让我给他租房子，然后我就签了一年的公寓合同，我知道他已经结婚，但是我还是期待能和他在一起生活，我希望他能重新回到我身边，像以前一样每天和我在一起，所以我又很主动的帮他找房子， 还买了桌子，书架，和气垫床。（ 也许是因为这个原因，导致后来美国同修普遍认为我是小三。因为人的情感与现实不是完全匹配的，这就是为什么很多原配夫人和小三打架的原因，很多人不理解说你老公都不爱你了，已经抛弃你了，你还赖着不离婚是想干吗？ 有什么放不下的。 其实真的很难放下。人间最难放下的不过是情感了。 其实我也希望可以轻松放弃，这样就不会有内心痛苦。） 本来以为他们可以住很长世间，没想到1个月不到，他和老婆就回温哥华了。 他们走后，我一个人看着空空的屋子，坐在地上好像如梦初醒，唉声叹气，那是我人生第一次遇到那么大的挫折，我应该永远也忘不了。呵呵 。后来2006年夏天多伦多开法会，他又打电话给我，问可不可以住在我家， 然后我很高兴的同意了。 法会之后我决定拒绝李涛的下一个要求。 然后，他很贬低我的回到温哥华，很理直气壮的，以一个付出得不到回报的心态，以一个受害者的心态离开多伦多。 之后很长一段时间， 李涛和美国的修炼人关系搞得非常好，他们经常会在大纪元看中国网站的副刊上发表一些文章，其实都是指桑骂槐的给我看的，都是在骂我，呵呵，我知道。之后很长一段时间，李涛对我的态度一直都很贬低责问瞧不起。 同时我也被美国修炼人嘲笑，他们笑我软弱不会拒绝，不敢反抗，为什么李涛选择他老婆，而不是我，那都是我的错，因为我只有一身的缺点，他老婆又漂亮又温柔，当然李涛会选择他老婆，当然不会选择我。呵呵。 我的确不会拒绝别人的要求，这是真的，因为我特别害怕辜负别人，让自己变成坏人， 因为修炼人要为别人着想，所以我总是答应别人的要求。 后来，这又变成我下一个缺点，承诺后做不到，因为真的做不到，如果别人让我去摘天上的星星我也会马上答应，呵呵。这就是我的奴性心态的真实写照，永远对不起别人，永远欠别人的，永远低人一等，永远被骂都是别人对我的恩赐，真的，我真的是在一个这样的家庭里长大的。虽然我明白为什么，但就是很压抑也很内疚。当然我也很自大，因为我不满足被人骂一无是处，所以就会欺骗自己其实很了不起，这样就可以掩盖内心的自卑和空虚。 我一生都在造业，但同时我也在付出。虽然一事无成，但是我已经非常努力了，付出过我的全部。虽然所有的付出都被浪费掉了，但是好在至少现在我没有遗憾。 如果被人嘲笑我一事无成，人生只有失败，我其实不遗憾，因为我也不想再付出什么，也不想着要得到什么。 就像现在这样也很好。 哈哈哈哈。就这样活下去到生命结束的那一天就好了。对于李涛我曾经很气他。我就想就算是一条狗，为主人付出那么多都能得到奖赏，我为你付出那么多连一句感谢也得不到，我在你眼里连条狗都不如。 这就是我很生气的原因。 现在我不气了，因为是我害了他，他也是受害人。如果我当初不去骗别人，自然就不会被骗。所以最终的原因还是在我这里。 正如天下人都讲的，人生其实掌握在自己手里，真的是这样，自己不去造业，当然就没有上门讨债的了。我一直有一个很大的问题，就是总想融入外人的生活，交朋友，跟一群人一起工作。所以总是想着找个 ‘团’ ，今天看看这个项目组，明天打听打听那个项目组， 看看我能不能也混进去…… 我发现这也是个病，病的根源也是来自家庭。 因为小时候家庭不和睦，没有爱心，不是一个互相帮助其乐融融的家庭，所以就不喜欢家人，总想着外人，把外人当亲人。 我是故意回避来自家庭的痛苦，以为逃避就能远离被迫害，事实证明这样行不通。 在哪里出的问题，就只能在哪里解决。被父母迫害，就回过头来找父母算账，不能把希望寄托的外人身上，否者只能把灾难扩大。 现在我做的是把我的痛苦经历告诉我的父母，让他们知道其实我2岁的时候就知道他们做的不对，让他们知道人不是因为小就没有记忆。 让他们也意识到自己的错误，改正自己的行为。 小时候我被我爸打，我就很恨我爸。 但同时我也被我妈打骂，但是我不恨我妈。当然这是公平的，因为我妈付出过痛苦生下我，等于我欠了她的。 之后我妈找我讨债，打骂我，就是恩怨2清，谁也不欠谁的了。 恨当然没有，但是会因为打骂而离的很远这是真的，没有感情也是真的。所以美国同修多年来一直在责备我不孝顺，是因为这个原因。因为每次的打骂都是一次对亲情这颗大树的砍伐， 砍的次数多了，树自然就倒了。 其实我妈也没有很依赖我，她是个非常独立的人，可以自己一个人过的很好，不会想着我怎样，呵呵。 有时候也会恨我，说我小时候多么的难带，也说我奶奶给了她多大的压力，估计到现在气也没消。人生的遗憾是有的。有件事我要讲出来，就是不要因为压力而做错误决定，自己害自己，给自己留下遗憾。小学6年级毕业时，那时候我们学校同学都会留下同学录，很多同学都有一本，互相写字留念。 我也有一本，每个同学都有写字， 那时候我很开心。 后来，一天在家里，我妈看到了我的同学录，就特别生气，质问我: 你写这个干什么？ 写这个干嘛？ 啊？ 干什么？？？ 我记得我妈当时脸特别凶，瞪着我看，站我面前，声音故意压得低沉，但是却非常的愤怒，就好像我犯罪了一样。当时我就开始害怕，心里特别委屈，也很生气，所以我一气之下，就当我妈的面，把这本同学录亲手撕掉了。撕掉之后，我妈一句话不说，扭头就走了，以后再也没提起过这件事。 我记得很清楚，当时撕完后，我马上就后悔了，恨不得大哭一场，我特别后悔为什么自己撕掉它，应该让我妈撕掉才对，谁不喜欢就自己去处理，我不应该自己害自己。 我特别后悔.